Being With Myself the Way I Am With My Children

I had a simple thought this morning.

The way I try to be with myself is not so different from the way I am with my children.

When they are around, I don’t switch off. I’m not constantly doing something for them, but I am aware. I notice. I sense when something shifts. If they need me, I’m there.

There is an ongoing attention.

A quiet kind of listening.

And underneath it, there is care.

Not perfect. Not constant in a rigid way. But something steady enough that they don’t have to fight to get my attention.

This morning, I realised that this is what I’m trying to do. The way I am with my children is, in many ways, how I try to be with myself, not perfectly, but as best as I can.

Instead of only noticing when something is already overwhelming, I try to stay connected throughout the day. I pay attention to what is happening inside me. Small shifts. Tension. Irritation. A drop in energy. A feeling that doesn’t quite make sense yet.

Sometimes it’s subtle.

Sometimes it’s clear that something in me has been triggered and needs attention.

When that happens, I try not to push through or dismiss it. I make space. Even if it’s just a few moments, I turn toward it.

I listen.

I stay.

I don’t leave.

The more I do this, the more sensitive I become to my own internal signals. I start to notice things earlier, before they build up. The system doesn’t have to escalate as much to be heard.

There is less inner pressure.

Less need for something inside to “scream” to get my attention.

And that changes how I move through the day.

There is more ease. More grounding. More availability.

Not because everything is resolved all the time, but because there is an ongoing relationship inside. A sense that whatever arises, it won’t be ignored.

In the work I do, this is often what we are building.

Not a perfect way of feeling. Not a fixed state.

But a different kind of presence with yourself.

Something closer to how you might naturally be with someone you care about.

Elena